As a society, we’ve lost our cool. We can also say we’ve lost our… peace. And we’ve forgotten who our peace comes from.
In this episode, Sterling describes what we can think in order to have more peace and hope during these days.
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Hi, and welcome to the made for greatness podcast. Today on episode 44, I’m going to be talking about masks and COVID and school. We’ve been doing so much coaching on this in our program in private coaching. And I just wanted to create an episode to give you guys a little bit of hope to give you a little bit of peace, to help ground you in some things that we know to be true. So here’s the situation. This is September, 2021. Most places are having in-person school. Everyone is sending their kids to school. Who’s planning on it and what’s happening is there’s this great clash of parents who feel very strongly, that masks should be mandated. And parents who feel very strongly, that masks should not be mandated. So two groups of parents who feel very strongly about this, I’m sure there’s ones in the middle of their like whatever, or they don’t care that much.
But these two groups that feel very strongly are then going to the administration, the principal, the teachers, or the priests, if it’s a Catholic school and they’re saying, oh my gosh, how can you do this? How can you allow this to happen? And both of them are really essentially saying the same thing. They’re both saying you don’t care about the kids. You’re just doing this for money. There’s this idea that the decisions are being made for money. Like whoever’s the loudest, whoever threatens to pull the kids the most, we’re going to cater to that crowd, or we get money per student that’s in there even in public schools. So we’re catering to, you know, again, whoever’s the loudest about pulling their kids or getting government money.
And they’re both saying, I just want to keep my kids safe. And one group thinks that keeping them safe means putting masks on them. And one group thinks keeping them safe, emotionally means not putting masks on them. And both parents are saying, I want to do the right thing. And everyone is saying, I don’t know who to trust. Right? That’s what’s happening right now in our culture here in the United States, at least there were things that we used to count. There were people we used to trust and all of that has gone out the window. We used to feel safe at work or at church or at school. And now our brain’s gone. I don’t know if I feel safe in those places anymore. I don’t know if I trust them. I’m not sure they know what they’re doing talking about. And so what’s that happening is people are being very angry and very upset.
Everyone’s all in their unintentional models, right? If you really believe that the staff at your school didn’t care about your children, how would that feel? Feel terrible. You feel awful. And you’re either going to be angry or scared. And if you’re angry, you’re not going to show up as a great version of yourself. If you’re scared, you’re all is going to be panicking. Maybe you’re taking the kids and pulling them and keeping them at home. Maybe you’re calling every friend that you have and texting people lines have been drawn. And we’re like, which side are you on on? Right? We’re all doing that out of fear and panic.
And then we’re getting angry at people. But remember there’s always a feeling under anger do usually sadness or fear, just the blanket emotion on top. So anytime I’m very angry after I stopped being angry. Cause we don’t usually have the presence of mind to pause and think through things clearly when we’re angry. But when it comes down, I asked myself, whoa, Sterling, what’s underneath that anger. Okay. Are you scared? Are you sad? Right? Fear is going to be, oh no, I don’t know what’s going to happen. This is terrible. Something bad is going to happen. Feels like you’re standing on the edge of a black hole and you’re gonna fall.
Sadness will feel more like, I don’t know what to do. I do. I’m not a good mom. I feel hopeless. I can’t help them. This isn’t going to get better. And I really want to explain these two sides because it doesn’t matter which side you’re on. Both the groups are feeling like this right now. Both groups are swirling in anger and confusion and lack of trust and a little bit of hopelessness. Like we’re their moms. We should know what’s best for them. And all of a sudden we’re looking around and we’re like, you know what? I’m not really sure.
And there’s a lot of things on the pro con list of both sides we want to do what’s best for our children. But I think the biggest lie that we’re believing right now is that we have the ability to keep them. We do not have the ability to keep our children safe. We do not have the ability to keep ourselves safe. And your brain was created with the primary purpose of keeping you safe. So it talks about that a lot. It moves you to action in order to make you feel safe. Now in the 21st century, safety might be okay, we’re on the couch and we’re eating ice cream and we’re watching Netflix. You’re going to be okay. And your brain goes, oh God, I feel safe here. Right? We have kind of different ideas about what safety is when you live in a first world country, your brain does.
It’s like, Ooh, don’t want you to walk in that room and risk being rejected. That feels really unsafe, right? So we’re not talking about the level of unsafety that’s happening in the middle east right now. Your brain is going to feel like, oh no, are we allowed to put plastic bowls in the microwave? Doesn’t feel safe. Maybe there’s BPH. And then the kids will, I don’t know. We’re not even sure what that means, but we know it’s bad. It’s our brain is really focused on keeping you safe and keeping the kids safe. And that’s a really good thing. It’s a really good thing that our brains do that. But again, they have kind of a mixed up idea about that in the 21st century. And so your job is, instead of thinking with your inner mean, girl, who’s freaked out and angry and swinging her fist or hiding and talked about inner mean girls. She’s the one who’s like yell at everyone called the principal, pull the kids out, freak out.
We want to access your Saint brain. Your Saint brain is much more calm and grounded. Your Saint brain is going to look for God in the situation. Your Saint brain is going to accept what’s happening and that God is allowing this to happen. Right now. He’s allowing this to happen to the entire earth. He’s allowing this to happen in the United States and he’s allowing this to happen at your church or your school. And your Saint brain will remind you that the only real safety piece of eternity in heaven with the Lord, that’s it. That’s the only real safety we can count on. Everything else is out of our control. And when we really think about that, initially, it could feel kind of scary. What do you mean? I can’t say safe. I put my seatbelt on. I pay my taxes.
I hold the hands of my kids. So they don’t cross into the streets. We try to eat mostly healthy. We do a lot of things to keep ourselves safe. And that is good because we do want to be the best version of ourselves. God asks us to do that too. He asks us to show up and to be good stewards of what he’s given us, but sometimes an external circumstance we’ll take our physical or emotional or mental safety away while we are here on earth, people can get hurt. People’s brains can have a lot of trauma.
There are accidents. There are pandemics and people die. That is not the ultimate safety that we are after the ultimate safety that we are after is the state of our soul when we die. And so I want you to take a deep breath mamas. I want you to offer up your anxiety, your frustration, your confusion for the conversion of souls. I want you to look at what we’re going through right now. And you can view it as an opportunity to tell people about the good news, because the good news is that Jesus died for your sins. And when you believe in him, you get to spend eternity in heaven with him. And that is the ultimate safety that we want. And I want my kids to have that safety. And I want every soul that I encounter to have that safety too. I want to be like mother Theresa who saw the soul that was inside of every person that she met.
She actually would do a little bow to God within another person. And I want to see every person as going through a battle for their soul. And they will either have eternal safety or eternal sadness because hell is a place where God does not exist. He is not there. I mean, he probably exists everywhere, but you know what I mean? He’s not there. And that is the most painful thing that could happen to anyone. So when you’re looking at someone on the other side of the fence, I want you to be asking yourself, do they know about Jesus? What is the state, their soul? How is the way that I am acting right now showing where my peace and hope come from my peace and my hope comes from Jesus Christ. And I want my kids to know that. And I want my husband to know that. And I want all of you to know that. And I want every person that I meet to know that the reason that I can look calm in a situation that is challenging is because my peace and my hope comes from God.
And you know how to do this because you have been through some things in your life, some very challenging things. God has asked you to carry some heavy crosses. And do you have stuck with him? And part of you believes that he chose that it wasn’t a mistake. It wasn’t an accident. And that he is with you. That is your path to sainthood, that he gives you the grace you need for everything that you’re going to go through. And principals and teachers and parish, councils and mask mandates, do not change that they do not take away your peace or your hope.
We do not feel safe because of those things. If you think putting your seatbelt on in the car creates safety for you, you are wrong. Putting kids in cars is the most dangerous thing we do. And we do it every day. That is far more dangerous than any pandemic issues that we’re dealing with right now. And if the seatbelt is the thing that gives you peace, when you put the kids in the car, I want you to check yourself on that cannot control the other drivers on the road. We cannot control whether our children get hurt in cars. The only thing that we can control is that we tell them who Jesus is. And we say, love him. He made us to love him and to know him and to serve him.
He is the reason that we have peace and you tell them, sometimes mommy loses her peace. And it’s usually because I’ve stopped looking at God. When I get angry, I am sorry. I should not have gotten angry. I was not walking closely with the Lord in that moment. Because when I walk closely with the Lord, I have peace and I have hope. And when you see someone right now, who’s being very upset and not acting with Christian charity. I want you to just know, oh, that person is not walking closely with the Lord right now. Let’s pray for them that it doesn’t mean that they’ve lost their salvation. It just means in that moment, they’re not regulating their emotions. They’re not walking with God. They’re not believing the gospel message because they think they can create their own safety. They think they can create peace with external circumstances.
That is not where our piece comes from. So I want you to ask yourself right now. If you’ve been listening to this podcast for awhile, what creates our feelings? It is our thoughts. Your thoughts create your feelings. And when I say that, God gives you peace. This is what it looks like when you become Catholic. And you have some understanding of the gospel message and the catechism and the traditions of our church and the truth of the presence in the Eucharist. And what mass is about. You will have thoughts about all of those things. And those thoughts are the ones that can give you peace. So you can think my peace comes from God and that will lead to the feeling of peace. You can think I will offer up this suffering right now for the conversion of sinners. And that may give you the feeling of purpose.
You may think I am saved because of the endless mercy of God. And I will spend eternity in heaven with him that may lead to the feeling of comfort or hope. I love thinking anyone can be saved at any time. That feeling makes me feel hopeful. I want you to ask yourself, what do you believe about the goodness of God and the mercy of God. He is allowing this to happen right now. And most of you are arguing with him and telling him it’s not right. This shouldn’t be happening. Those people shouldn’t be acting like that. There should, or shouldn’t be any kind of mandate. You’re also telling him that you should be able to keep your kids safe.
And he said, that’s not what I asked you to do. He said, I asked you to raise them up for me. I asked you to show them your faith, teach them about the faith and show them how to live it. That is the equivalent of saying, give them the thoughts that they can think. So they too can have peace and hope in me. I know that we are scared right now because things that we thought we could trust suddenly don’t feel like we can trust them anymore. But I want you to know that those are just thoughts. You can either choose to trust that everyone is trying to do the best thing for the children.
How frequent do you think your principal it’s like going home and smoking cigars and laughing with his wife about pulling one over on all of the families for money? No, he is going home to his wife. And he is saying, this is so hard. I’m trying to take care of these kids. I’m trying to help the parents feel safe and I don’t know what to do. And that’s how a lot of us parents are feeling. We’re thinking I want to do the right thing. I want to keep them safe. And I don’t know what to do. And those thoughts are creating a lot of pain for you.
So go back to the Lord, ask yourself, what can I be thinking? That gives me peace and hope. And I want to challenge you on this idea. Can you ever really trust someone? Can you keep your children safe? And is there such thing as the right thing to do? How can you know? And then spend some time with God, ask him to forgive you for your anger and lack of trust. We all need to do that. Lord. I’m sorry. I lost it. And it wasn’t very charitable. Sorry that I was so upset even with my husband. Sorry that I’ve been so short tempered with the kids. I’m sorry that I’ve been trying to rely on myself.
Spend some time with the Lord. That is where you will find your peace. And that is where you will find hope and then go out and tell the world about the good news. Tell your children, tell your husband, tell the people that you meet. Yeah, there’s a lot going on right now. I’m so glad that I’m Catholic. That gives me peace. You don’t have to try to convert them, just stand in your peace. And they will know you by the way that you act, they will know that something is different about you and they will be attracted to your holiness to the ways that you are like God. And that is having peace and hope in any circumstance.
If you want more coaching on this, come join masters. We do a lot of coaching on this and I watched the faces of the moms that I coach and I watched them come in with anxiety and stress. And I watch it melt as we coach them and they leave feeling better and they leave feeling more hopeful. And it is not because of me. All I do is I point them to the Lord. We just bring God into it. And we say, what does God want to tell us about this right now? And what lies are we believing? What is the truth? How can we be thinking in a different way to create peace and hope in our lives? That is what life coaching about. That is what mindset coaching is about. So if you want some more peace in helping your lives come join us in masters is a very powerful program and it will help you be the person that God wants you to be. Because ultimately that’s our goal. We want to be saints. We want to have the ultimate safety, which comes from being in heaven for eternity. That’s what you were made for mama. You were Made For Greatness.