Hello, my friends. Welcome to Made For Greatness. I am your host today, Lorissa Horn, and I cannot wait to spend a little bit of time with you today on this podcast episode. But first of all, I need to ask you this question. Are you following us on Instagram? If not, our handle is made for greatness coaching over on Instagram. We are posting things every single day. You gotta come and check it out. Follow us. We’ve been posting lately about our $1 seven day trial for masters. And if you have been thinking about checking out masters, seeing what we have to offer, this is the time to come check it out. It’s just a dollar for seven days. You have full access to everything on our website. You can join a group coaching call, you can download our courses, you can check out our Bible studies.

All of it is available, available to you for just a dollar. So check us out on Instagram. Come give us a try, masters. We believe that this work that we’re putting out into the world really can make your life better. And that’s our hope and that’s our prayer. And we want you to come check it out. All right, let’s dive into today’s episode. And I’m going to start this episode by asking you a question. And this is the deal that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. We need to be asking ourselves questions, asking ourselves powerful questions, because this is what happens with our brain. When we ask ourselves a question or when anyone asks us a question, our brain cannot help but to try to find the best answer. In fact, it can’t not go looking for an answer.

It’s always going to try to find something. So in our own lives, if we ask ourselves powerful questions, we’re gonna get powerful answers or we’re going to, our brain is gonna go looking for powerful answers. And so this is something that I’ve been practicing in my own life, taking time to really sit down and ask myself meaningful and powerful questions. And this is what we do in coaching. This is what we do with our clients. We ask them powerful questions, things to help them think outside the box, help them to think and reflect on their lives, maybe in a way that they’ve never done before. And when you start doing this, your brain starts to find answers that it’s never found before. It’s very fascinating and very helpful because truly, like so many answers in our lives, like are already within us, the answers are there.

We just need to make sure we’re asking the right kinds of questions. So this is my Powerful question for you this week, leading into this podcast. What are you tolerating? What are you tolerating? This is a question I started asking myself probably three or four months ago, really specifically. And at first you might be thinking to yourself, Well, I’m not tolerating anything. Or maybe you’ve already thought of a couple things, your brain is already scanned and found an answer. But chances are you are tolerating things in your life. We all are. And what does it mean to tolerate? Well, the actual definition, if you look up what the word tolerating means, it’s this. It’s to accept or endure something or someone that you dislike or something that’s unpleasant. So really, whenever it comes to tolerating something, there’s always a level, a degree of discomfort that you are allowing for. And the crazy thing is, if we don’t ask ourselves these questions, sometimes we can go days, weeks, months, even years tolerating certain behaviors or certain situations that we could actually probably address pretty quickly and resolve.

And so I wanna ask you this question, What are you tolerating? And in my own life, I’m gonna just share some examples because a lot of times we can tolerate a number of different things in different areas of our lives. For example, we might tolerate something physical in our bodies. Like for me, starting in January, I started to get a pain in my shoulder. It was a dull, pretty minor pain in my shoulder and I just started to tolerate it. If it started to flare up, maybe I would take some ibuprofen, I would do some things. It wasn’t that bad, but over time it kept getting worse and worse and worse. And I just tolerated it probably for six or seven months before I got to the point of actually doing something to fix it. So that’s one example. You know, sometimes we tolerate pains or aches or situations in our bodies where maybe the pain’s not super intense, but it’s just there. It’s kind of hovering in the background a little bit. Another thing that we tolerate sometimes is the actions or behaviors of other people.

Maybe there’s people in our lives that don’t treat us super great, maybe people in our lives that say things from time to time that you know, is, is painful or cuts us down a little bit. Maybe we tolerate our teenager’s attitude or disrespect towards us. We just kind of allow it to happen even though it’s something that is unpleasant or we dislike it, but we just don’t really address it. Sometimes we tolerate things around our house, We maybe see something that needs to be fixed or cleaned or taken care of, and we just don’t do it. We just tolerate it. We just live with it. And there’s even sometimes behaviors that we do or don’t do for ourselves that we tolerate, maybe not following through with, with our own commitments to ourselves. Maybe we say we wanna do something and then we don’t, and we just kind of tolerate that inconsistent behavior. So there’s a lot of different ways in which we tolerate things. Some of those things are internal things that maybe we’re responsible for. Sometimes we tolerate things outside of ourselves, other people, other behaviors.

Maybe we tolerate a job that we’re in that we don’t really love, but we don’t hate it enough to get out of it. So we just kind of tolerate it. And this is what I want you to think about today, is how are the things that you are tolerating, affecting your life? Maybe they’re not a big deal, but maybe they’re a bigger deal than you realize. And I think sometimes for us to have some self awareness around this allows us to say to ourselves, What maybe am I tolerating?

What am I settling for that if I just actually addressed it could make my life significantly better? And this is what I wanna dive into today. Now there’s something that we need to understand when it comes to tolerating our brain. Our brain recognizes that there is discomfort when it comes to tolerating something. But the reason it allows us, the reason we stay stuck with tolerating something is because even though the discomfort is there, the brain perceives that the discomfort to actually fix it or address it or change the situation is significantly greater than the discomfort that’s there with just tolerating it. So that’s why we just stay there. That’s why we just kind of stay stuck day after day after day, week after week, month after month, sometimes year after year, just tolerating certain behaviors, certain actions, certain situations, because our brain perceives that

Trying to fix it or change it is going to be significantly more uncomfortable. I’m gonna give you an example with this. A couple of months ago, my pantry was really dirty and it just kept, it was just like, ugh. It was dirty and I was tolerating it. It was very disorganized, it was a mess. There was stuff on the floor. And every time I walked into my pantry to get something, I felt a level of frustration, discomfort, annoyance, all those things. So it was really bothering me. But I would think to myself, I really need to clean this pantry. And my brain would imagine that cleaning, it was going to be such a daunting task. So maybe the discomfort of my pantry, maybe that was maybe at a level like two or three. I mean, not really. It’s not really like a big deal, right?

But maybe two or three. But the perception of my brain, my imagination of fixing this problem made, fixing it kind of at a level of probably four or five, so quite a bit higher in my mind, I was thinking, this is gonna be an all day project. It’s gonna take so much effort. I’ve gotta take everything out of the pantry, wipe down the shelves, mop the floor, put everything back. It’s so much work, and I’m already so busy. I don’t have time for this, and I don’t wanna spend time on a Saturday afternoon cleaning my pantry. I’d rather be doing something else that’s more meaningful or more important. And so what happens? My brain just basically says, Let’s just keep tolerating it. Now, a lot of times, unless we really get clear with it intentionally like what we’re talking about right now and asking ourselves the question, what usually happens is we will continue tolerating something until the level of discomfort of tolerating it outweighs the discomfort of addressing it or fixing it.

And a lot of times, that’s why it will go on for long periods of time because that discomfort level won’t get high enough. The example that I shared with my shoulder is that my shoulder, I was tolerating it for quite some time, but it just kept getting worse and worse and getting worse until the pain was so intense that I had to fix it. Like the discomfort of going and scheduling doctor’s appointments and getting an MRI and pain for any procedures, the discomfort of that was less than the discomfort of actually living with it any longer. And so it’s kind of like the pendulum shifted in the discomfort area. And the sad thing is, now I’ve addressed it. I’ve gone to the doctor, I’ve gotten the, all of the stuff done, and my shoulder’s starting

To feel better. And now I’m like looking back, going, Man, I tolerated that pain for probably a good half a year or longer when I could’ve gone and done it and taken care of it a lot sooner and it probably wouldn’t have gotten so bad to begin with. And so this is why we really do wanna look at our lives and say, What am I tolerating? Do I have to wait till it gets so bad that the discomfort that I have to live with for so long that eventually I’ll do something? Or do I wanna address it now? Because a lot of times when we address it, when the problem is minor, first of all, it’s a lot easier to address. And second of all, that alleviates so much pain and discomfort for long periods of time because the thing that we don’t realize is that the things that we’re tolerating, they weigh us down, they hold us back, they keep us stuck.

And so much of the time, the actions or the effort to actually fix the problem end up taking so much less work than we actually imagine It might. For example, when my pantry got bad enough that I couldn’t handle it anymore, that I couldn’t tolerate it anymore, I finally made a plan to clean it. And basically what I did was I told my family, my husband, a couple of my kids this Saturday, we’re cleaning the pantry. So I rallied the troops. We put on a bunch of fun music, I got a bunch of trash bags cleaner, and I set a timer and I said, Do you guys think we could do this in an hour? And so we kind of set this like a little mini competition against the clock. And believe it or not, we cleaned everything out of the pantry, took every single thing out, wiped down the shelves, threw away the food that was old, reorganized it, put everything back.

And we did it in 57 minutes. And it was fun. We actually, it was kind of a team building activity. The kids were having fun, my husband, it was the time to spend together. And the thing that’s crazy about this is that it happened a couple months ago and our pantry is still clean. We’ve kept it up. It looks wonderful. Every time I go into my pantry, I feel amazing. It feels so good. And it didn’t take nearly the time or the effort or the energy that my imagination was thinking that it was gonna take. And so I remember thinking shortly after we cleaned the pantry, like, why did I tolerate this mess for so long? Why didn’t I just come up with a plan to fix it? And so, so that’s what I’ve been doing in my life in all different areas. What am I tolerating?

And instead of allowing my imagination to run wild and to imagine the worst case scenario, or the fact that it’s going to be so much more difficult than, than the likelihood of it actually being, I’m getting more realistic and using my imagination to say to myself, Well, what if it doesn’t take that much time? Or What if it’s not that hard? Or what if having a conversation with someone doesn’t have to be that scary? And even in my own life, I have started to understand that addressing the things that I’m tolerating aren’t nearly as terrible or uncomfortable as I imagined them to be, even when it comes to standing up for myself. For me, I am someone that has always been a people pleaser. I tend to be more passive. I also hate conflict. I don’t like to have difficult conversations with people. But when we’re tolerating others, treating us in a certain way, or maybe not treating us as we would like to be treated, ultimately we are giving them permission on how to treat us.

If we’re not standing up for ourselves, if we’re not maybe letting someone know what our boundaries or our expectations are, then ultimately we’re giving them permission to treat us a certain way. And then we might find ourselves tolerating certain behaviors that we know just aren’t acceptable and that don’t truly build us up and make us better, or even help the other person in our life be the best that they can be. And so I want us to all be thinking for a little bit about how I can have my back? This is a question. If you’re in Masters, you will hear myself, Sterling, our other coaches say these things from time to time. How do you have your back? And ultimately, this is the answer to no longer tolerating certain things. What it comes down to is, do we have our backs? Are we standing up for ourselves?

Are we wanting the best for ourselves? Are we willing to experience the discomfort of fixing a situation, addressing it? Trying to improve a situation so that we no longer have to tolerate the discomfort of living with it? It really does come back to our own self worth, our own self value, and how we see ourselves and what value we place on our own wellbeing, and ultimately on the quality of life that we wanna create for ourselves. And I don’t know about you, but I want to live a life where I’m not tolerating a lot of things. I wanna live a life that I love and that I enjoy, where I feel like I have my back, where I show up every day striving to live the best life that I can and support others in doing the same. And the more we tolerate, the more in a way we’re saying to ourselves, even if it might be somewhat subconsciously, what we’re saying is we don’t matter enough to actually take care of the things that are causing us a lot of discomfort or things that are unpleasant or things that we don’t like.

And so this is my challenge for all of us to ask ourselves this question, to sit with this question for a little bit. What am I tolerating? What am I settling for? What am I allowing for that? If I really had my back, I would say, this is, it’s enough. I no longer wanna tolerate this anymore. I want something better for myself. When we start exploring these questions, when we start standing up for ourselves a little bit, having our own backs, when we start to realize that we are worth having some of those conversations, or we are worth making some of those changes, or we are worth putting a plan into place to fix something, then we start to feel empowered in our lives. We start to feel like we have a little bit more control. We start to feel a little bit more excited about waking up in the morning and knowing that we’re gonna be taking care of ourselves to the very best of our abilities.

This truly is about self-love. It’s about honoring ourselves. It’s about setting some boundaries, and it’s about elevating our own self worth, our own self dignity. And when we do this, it starts to change things. Now, I wanna say this as I wrap this podcast episode up, when we start to ask this question, what are we tolerating? We may start to notice a number of things. It might be a whole handful of things that we start to recognize, like, Oh, I’m tolerating this and I’m tolerating this and I’m tolerating this. And all of a sudden the thought of fixing all of those at once feels very overwhelming. And ultimately that becomes self defeating. So what I wanna say to you about that is this. If there’s a couple things that come up for you, I want you to say, Well, which one thing am I tolerating that is causing me the most discomfort?

And start there. Start with that one thing. Because if you can address or fix that one thing, it can have a significant impact on the rest of your life. And you can just start with that one thing. For example, my shoulder, when I finally addressed it, like it started to impact other areas of my life. So like when I was in a lot of pain, it was affecting my sleep. I was, you know, it was affecting everything. I did all my movements. It was keeping me from doing certain activities that I love and enjoy. I couldn’t work out all of that. So when I addressed it and I started to figure out how to fix it, then all those other areas in my life improved significantly. If it happens to be somebody in your life that maybe you need to have a conversation with, or maybe you just need to practice standing up for yourself a little bit, I promise you this, it’s not gonna be as hard as you think.

And chances are the first time you really do stand up for yourself, it’s going to feel weird. You’re gonna be like, What is this where, What is this voice coming out of me? How? Where is this strength coming from? But I want you to invite our Lord into that. Ask him to give you the strength to, in a very loving and compassionate way for yourself and for the other person to be able to say what needs to be said. And the more you do this, you’ll like to do it once and you’ll realize, Oh my gosh, that wasn’t as hard as I thought it was. In fact, it felt good to have my own back in this situation. And then you will start to discover that it gets easier. And the more you have your back, the more you will build your own self respect. And all of a sudden, other people in your life will start to have greater respect for you as well.

Because again, we give people permission on how to treat us. When we work on elevating our own self respect, it automatically and naturally increases others’ respect for us. And finally, my sisters in Christ, I want to encourage you to really manage your imagination, manage your thoughts around this, because when you discover that you’re tolerating something and then you think about fixing it again, your imagination is going to imagine the worst case scenario. For example, let’s say you’re tolerating one of your in-laws who maybe says things to you that you no longer wanna tolerate and you know that you need to maybe have a loving but firm conversation with them. Your imagination, your mind is going to freak out and it’s going to envision the worst case scenario. It’s gonna envision a huge fight blowout. The person’s gonna get super defensive and it’s gonna create a rift in your family.

And then everyone’s gonna turn against you and you are gonna be shunned from the family. And then you’re gonna find yourself living in a van down by the river. That’s what our brain likes to do. It likes to totally freak us out. Think of the worst case scenario, and then your brain just says, Oh, that’s horrible. I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want to create a huge family issue. I’ll just continue tolerating this behavior because the discomfort of tolerating it is way less than the potential of something major happening. But this, again, this is managing your mind and saying to yourself, Listen, I’m just going to, in a very loving way, stand up for myself. I’m gonna talk to them. Or maybe if this happens again, I’m just gonna have my back in this. And what does it look like to have my back?

What is something that I can say that maybe lets this individual know that I don’t wanna tolerate their words or their behavior any longer? And I want you to put your imagination to work for you. And imagine just having a very respectful conversation where that person gets to act the way they want to act. But chances are, and my experience has been whenever I have had my back and whenever I’ve had difficult conversations, it almost always, not, not every single time, but most of the time it goes so much better than I anticipated. And it ends up resolving a difficult situation. And I, and I think to myself, Wow, well that wasn’t so hard. That wasn’t so bad. And then we have our backs and we just keep working towards doing that. So again, just be aware of where your brain goes. When you think about addressing or fixing a problem, manage your mind, manage your imagination. Start thinking about best case scenarios instead of worst case scenarios. And then step forward, having your back, recognizing that your responsibility ultimately is to yourself and taking care of your needs and making sure that you are creating the life that you want, the kind of life that you love, and deciding that you no longer wanna settle or tolerate things that keep you from experiencing what God really desires for you. This, my sister’s in Christ, this is a game changer when we start asking these questions, when we start looking for the answers,

And then we start taking actions to actually get the results that we want to get. And if you want more ways of figuring out how to do this, I wanna invite you to join us in Masters. This is the work that we’re doing. This is what we’re diving into, where we’re saying to ourselves, Okay, how can I manage my mind in such a way that I can get the results that I wanna get in my life? And we’re doing it in a community surrounded by Catholic mothers who want the best for themselves and the best for their families. Because remember, mama, we were not made for comfort. We are Made for Greatness. I hope you have an amazing week. God bless.